You ever wanted to share something with someone about what God had ministered to you during a study or a trial, when you wanted to share that moment ….that person was not available …well, that happen to me recently and it bummed me out for two weeks, but now I am sharing it on my blog.
I recently came back from visiting my foster grandma. I had not seen her for two years. One night while I slept next to her my grandma, she began to have a heart attack. I felt helpless and all I could do is give her, her medicine. That night I went to the kitchen to cry. I asked God if I was supposed to stay with her and give up being a missionary. I was willing to give up my personal desire of serving God out in the mission field to be by the side of my elder.
So the next day I went jogging alongside the corn fields and cotton fields. I came to a stop and found a cotton seed on the ground. The parable of when Jesus tells of the four soils came to mind. At that very moment, God showed me what seed I was. I am the fourth seed that sprouted and grew and produced crops. When I picked up the cotton seed it ministered to me, how the seed that was planted in me represented that I had ears to hear and accepted God’s word. I could have been any of other seeds but God had a plan for the seed that He planted in my heart. …like he says in Jeremiah 29:11, they are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. When these thoughts came to my mind, I began to pray.
The Holy Spirit gave me a bunch of flashbacks of my past and then ended with a vision God gave me when I arrived at Casa Esperanza. Deuteronomy 30 is a chapter that discusses about being obedient and loving God with all your heart. In verse 16 says, ”for God command you this day to love the Lord your God and to keep His commands, decrees, and regulation by walking in His ways. If you do this, you will live and multiply, and the Lord your God will bless you and the Land you are about to enter and occupy.
There was my answer to my prayer. I am not to stay and take care of my grandma. I need to trust in the Lord that through my obedience, He will care for her while I am away.
After my jog I returned to the house and my grandma sat at the kitchen counter. She asked me to sit down. Grandma wanted to confess a burden that she has had on her heart for years. My grandma confessed to me that my biological father used to try to have a relationship with me, but was obligated by my mom not to let me know. My grandma said that she did not want to die without me knowing the truth. These words did not shock me or hurt me. I thought of Jeremiah 29:11 again. God has plans for me.
I told my grandma that I once prayed that if I met my dad, I would want to share the gospel with him and speak of the things God has done through me. I ended the conversation by stating God is in control and He is the only that can permit me to meet my dad one day. My grandma cooked me an early Thanksgiving dinner. The greatest blessing that day was that my uncle prayed. That day the Lord showed me that my visits were to plant seeds for Him. During the three weeks, God ministered to me that He had chosen me to be part of that family even though we aren’t blood related. God had knitted us closer together because He selected them for me.
When it was my time to depart as I sat on the greyhound bus, I began to cry and I could not hold back the tears. That Sunday morning the state of California decided to give an early release to a lot of prisoners. Well, 75% of the bus passengers were prisoners. In my heart, I wanted to tell them about God, but I know it was not the right timing. So , I sat in my seat with tears in my eyes praying for them.
The bus arrived to the Los Angeles station and that evening I was to meet up with Pastor Hector of Agua Viva Church in Burbank. As I waited for my ride, I noticed God had plans for me because I was in His will. I observed so many of those prisoners go back to their own vomit as they headed back to the streets without God in their hearts.
I thank God because I got to speak at ‘Agua Viva’ with Pastor Hector. Then I headed to Downey. I arrived at my spiritual parent’s house, Lolly and Hernan Navas. My spiritual mom is always is looking for an opportunity to talk about the Lord.
Just I arrived she asked me to go with her and pray for an elder. As I arrived to this lady’s apartment, I felt a tug by the Holy Spirit to sit next to the blind lady. I sat there and started to speak about God’s wonders in my life and how serving Him makes me complete. I turned and grabbed her hand. I told her God was not done with her. At that very moment she asked me to pray for her because she wanted to recommit her life to God. I got on my knees and I started to pray with her. I felt the Holy Spirit continuing to reveal Jeremiah 29:11 to me. God has plans for you.
The Last night at Downey, Pastor Hector came by to visit me. He and his wife had a blessing for me. They asked me to step outside. Hector handed me some keys. I thought he was asking me to open his car door but he and his wife were giving me a car.
Pastor Hector was confessing to me how he kept thinking of the 11 hours I traveled on bus to get to my grandma’s and about my bus ride with all the prisoners. Again, God was confirming His plans for me to go to back to the mission field.
Driving back to the Ensenada, I was taking another step of faith. I had just found out that the family that was supporting me monthly had lost their jobs and could no longer support me. So, here I was driving without knowing how I was going to make it month by month. Days later when I arrived at Casa Esperanza, I emailed someone to pray for me. The response to my email was that they were willing to support me with the things I was doing for God.
There was my final answer; I was to be at Casa Esperanza. When I started to do my duties again at the casa, I saw the Lord’s love. The kids were with me in the homework club. I was working with Manuel and Bryan extra hours. They are two of the kids that need extra help and attention. One Saturday I made them do extra homework with me and all the other kids went out with Walt. That day, I asked God if I was being too tough, but after I witness Bryan write his name for the first time, I cried and hugged him. We both ran around the house. Manuel also started to write on his own that day.
God had shown me that these were the plans that He has for me. Those moments are hidden treasures that I will be giving to Him all the Glory. That evening Manuel that is five years old told me that he felt a lot of love for me like if I was another mom to him. That same night Yari and Lisa, my older girls confessed that they missed me and thought I wasn’t coming back.
I love my Lord more than anything and I am willing to do what He asks of me.
I spoke with a brother from CC Sonora. He told,’ I bet you have your personal desire also’. I responded, ‘my Lord is everything to me, He is my father, my husband, my provider, and my desired are His desires. ‘
I end with this: this is what God wants for all of His children, ‘wants them to be encouraged and knit together by strong ties of love. I want them to have complete confidence that they understand God’s mysterious plans, which in Christ himself. In Him lie hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.’ Col 2:2-3
I pray my works please my Lord and my tears cleanse his feet.
I love you, Dad
You daughter Gabba
summer 2011
